


the try guys raise robot babies

by thisisashittyusername



Category: The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Can be a ship if you squint, M/M, The Try Guys, can also be about friendship and having a heart-to-heart with your friends at 4 am in the morning, jj fang, or maybe it's an unrequited platonic crush aw fuck, or what both of them have for each other, the try guys motherhood part 3, the try guys raise robot babies, wait what the fuck even is a platonic crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23441197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisashittyusername/pseuds/thisisashittyusername
Summary: ned and eugene are awakened by an electronic baby at 4 in the morning
Relationships: Ned Fulmer/Eugene Lee Yang
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	the try guys raise robot babies

**Author's Note:**

> i seriously like the dynamic between ned and eugene enough to want to ship them. but i don't actually want to ship them in the truest, romantic sense of the word since ned's already found that with ariel, and i don't want to destroy that, even if only in fiction. fuck you i love the fulmers, man. as for eugene... well i don't actually know if he has a boyfriend, but he's said before (i think???) that he doesn't want to compromise his friendships with sexual (and perhaps, to an extent, romantic) relationships, plus he deserves so much more than being someone's 'mistress', sooo. we have this. it's not super duper duper shippy, i mean it can be 3% of a ship if you squint really hard, but their relationship as depicted here is more of like that friendship u do those honest, really nice heart-to-hearts with ??? or like.,,.,., can pass for a platonic crush, i guess??? i dunno

“Look, if this was a crib, you can’t sleep in the crib,” Eugene snaps at him, almost insulted by how the smaller man arranges himself on the bed before him.

“If this was a crib,” Ned counters, a little too smugly for a man half-asleep, “you can’t sleep in the baby.” He holds the phone aloft as he sinks down into the sheets, and in his shifting, he manages to catch Eugene’s expression in the shot.

He doesn’t seem happy.

“Don’t even worry about it, bro,” Ned adds, just to placate his coworker. It doesn’t; instead, Eugene starts fussing even more, shuffling around the room as he holds the fake bottle to the electronic baby’s mouth. The robot, instead of making that recorded gurgling sound, is still making that noisy, awful, obnoxious _wailing._

“It’s too early for this,” Eugene grumbles, and Ned angles his phone toward him just to see what expression was on his face now. He’s looking at the baby pointedly, a little spitefully, his eyes in an angry kind of squint; and Ned, with his sleep-addled brain, almost laughs with how _funny_ everything was being.

No one would glare at a child, much less a baby! Much less _his_ baby. In fact, he can almost imagine all the adoring looks Eugene would give his and Ariel’s child, despite how much Eugene claims to dislike children. He can almost imagine the barely concealed wonder in Eugene’s smile when the baby coos at him, can almost imagine the lilt of his laugh when the baby squeals in delight.

Eugene would _love_ Wesley. He already knows it.

(It makes him a little emotional.)

“Can I just… hold my child?” Ned calls out, a little softer than before, and it’s enough to snap Eugene out of his angry trance.

“Your child,” Eugene repeats. “The _electronic baby_.”

The _electronic baby_ looks almost real when the uncanny valley face is turned away from him, Ned thinks. It almost looks like Eugene’s cradling a real baby in his arms; soft, delicate skin against the more defined lines of his forearm. It… looked good.

“Electronic or not, he’s still _my_ baby,” Ned turns on the bed to look at him, smiling, and he reasons it’s because he’s still doped up on sleep.

Eugene has that blank look on his face, like he’s trying not to give everything on his mind away, and he’s succeeding. Ned has no idea what is going on in his friend’s mind. “…Okay,” Eugene says carefully, as if after a long deliberation. Another beat of silence, and then, “-scoot over.”

“Huh?” Ned intones, the smile from before still dumbly glued on this face, although now he feels like an idiot.

“I said ‘scoot’,” the taller man repeats, and Ned is left with no other choice as Eugene starts to kneel on the bed. He pulls the baby a little more securely onto his chest as he lowers himself on his side, facing Ned. _A little too close_ , Ned thinks to himself, but he’s too lazy to be bothered to scoot back even more.

“Well, JJ Fang’s your child, too,” Ned jokes, just to diffuse the sudden tension of the situation, but his voice sounds so far away, even to him.

“There,” Eugene sighs, his hand coming up to rest comfortably over the swell of the baby’s chest. Ned, a little frozen at first, starts to calm when his coworker closes his eyes. He looks at the baby still pressed between them, the back of its head facing him, and from this angle he can almost believe the tufts of soft hair on its head to be real.

He knows, intellectually, that Wesley for sure will not be having hair this dark, but the fantasy of his _son_ finally being here stays locked into Ned’s brain. He leans forward, a slight smile on his face, cupping the head with gentle hands, before he plants the softest of kisses on its crown.

The electronic baby makes a cooing sound.

When he draws back, he sees Eugene watching him. “Oh,” he says, his eyes growing suddenly wider in that signature _Ned_ look of surprise (and he almost imagines that time, when Eugene had kissed him so forcefully, drawing out the same _surprise from him_ ), and he watches Eugene’s eyes soften.

“…Excited, huh?” Eugene says, and the hand previously on the baby inches toward his arm. Ned’s heart races a little- he knows it’s from the embarrassment of having been watched, he knows it’s from knowing Eugene didn’t _touch_ people as openly as this- but the rationalizations don’t quite stop the physiological reactions from happening.

“You know, he’ll grow up good,” his coworker goes on, a little more quietly, and the rare yet honest intimacy of the situation rushes right into Ned’s head, making him a little more light-headed. He can’t help the pleased smile worming its way to his face, the honest to God delight crawling up his spine at the words. “He’ll have you and Ariel for parents, after all.”

He looks at Eugene with the firmest gaze he can manage in his still sluggish disposition, and murmurs to him, “-and he’ll have the best uncle he can have.”


End file.
